Hi grasshopper,
I'm intruiged by this! But feel it may not be finished! I want to keep
saying "And...?" after the fox appears - I'm wanting an extra line!
(Or, if not an extra line, then a title that helps me glimpse something
after you mention the fox!)
It might be that it's the word "smiling" that throws me - I tend to think of
animals who hunt who're near their next meal ain't smiling: they're focused,
single minded, keyed-up, etc. So I'm expecting the fox to be more, do more,
than you're letting him be or do.
... Or it could just be that I see a 14 line block of words and think:
sonnet - and cos you so often rhyme your sonnets in conventional patterns -
and I'm tripping over my expectations!
But I think the first reaction I've written here's the thing I feel and
think most!
Bob
>From: grasshopper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: 3 Mormons or Whatever
>Date: Tue, 8 Jun 2004 01:58:25 +0100
>
> 3 Mormons or Whatever
>
>I was standing on a wide plain
>scoured by dusty winds, when 3 Mormons
>came to bury me. They had broad shovels
>over their dark shoulders, and on each shaft
>they'd hung a water-skin and a lantern.
>The water was salt - their lanterns were unlit .
>I lay down unresisting in the hole
>they dug for me with murmurous prayer.
>Under the sandy weight they heaped upon me
>I slept a little. Slept and stirred and slept,
>until the sound of their retreating boots
>awakened me to a night of snakes and stars
>and a small tan fox with a smiling snout,
>with a tail as bold as Renoir's brush.
>
> (grasshopper)
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