Dear Sally,
  I'm afraid I have to join the people who thought that the beginning sounds
too overly Poetical.
Also, I feel some sorts of abstractions tend to distance a reader from a
poem sometimes. For instance, consider the difference if you wrote:
Blossom drops like loose stitches
from the knitted garment of my life.
I think the poem immediately becomes warmer and more accessible....
Kind regards,
     grasshopper




----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally James" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, May 28, 2004 5:11 PM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] new sub Hawthorn Blossom


> Hawthorn Blossom
>
> Blossom drops like loose stitches
> from the knitted garment of life
> a pattern of secrets
> woven into the whole
> falling like love lost
> and lace petals
> from the bridal dress
> twig needles click in the wind
> and branches cradle a soft green gown
> make way for fruit yet to be born
> blackbirds nest in the hawthorn
> sing in the filigree of blossom and leaves
> each bird their own song
> their breasts not pierced like the robin
> whose single chirp
> can be heard only in the thorns of winter
> when snow is the cloak that covers
> melts in the varying light
> instead of a falling to the earth
> like the loose veil of May.
>
>
> sally james
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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