Thanks Matt well I always put poems away for ages and then come back to them
and do a bit of fiddling about so will have a look later. sally J
>From: "Merritt, Matt - Leic. Mercury"
><[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub Hawthorn Blossom
>Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 10:29:16 +0100
>
>Hi Sally,
>I like the last two lines a lot, and the opening image too, although like
>Bob I wonder whether "the knitted garment of life" sounds a bit too
>self-consciously poetic. Is there a way of tweaking that a bit? But I like
>the way you return to the knitting image later with the twigs, and I've
>enjoyed reading and re-reading the poem.
>Regards,
>Matt
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
>Of Sally James
>Sent: 28 May 2004 17:11
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub Hawthorn Blossom
>
>
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>Hawthorn Blossom
>
>Blossom drops like loose stitches
>from the knitted garment of life
>a pattern of secrets
>woven into the whole
>falling like love lost
>and lace petals
>from the bridal dress
>twig needles click in the wind
>and branches cradle a soft green gown
>make way for fruit yet to be born
>blackbirds nest in the hawthorn
>sing in the filigree of blossom and leaves
>each bird their own song
>their breasts not pierced like the robin
>whose single chirp
>can be heard only in the thorns of winter
>when snow is the cloak that covers
>melts in the varying light
>instead of a falling to the earth
>like the loose veil of May.
>
>
>sally james
>
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