Dear Bob. Thanks for comments hmm seems there are mixed feelings about the
ending so will put it away for a bit and re-think cos there are still a lot
of nanny memorabilia wizzing around in my head. Wireless is the right so
word will change this and my nan did wear glasses just to read. I will work
on this poem again and note on all the comments. Thanks sally j
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub Nanny and the Archers
>Date: Sun, 30 May 2004 11:05:37 +0000
>
>Hi Sally,
>I like this poem a lot!
>But I agree with the comments about where it should end! The last 4 lines,
>IMO, are trying too hard to end the poem - while the poem's got its own
>ending just before that...
>
>However, if you feel you really want to emphasise the link between you in
>the here and now and what was going on then then it might be that one of
>the other things you mention - the clock's tick, the proggie mat, the
>novel, do you wear glasses to read now but you didn't then?, drinking from
>a cup, or whatever!, might help to link then and now...
>
>Bob
>
>Who also thinks "the box" relates more to the telly than the "wireless" as
>we usually called it, but sometimes it got called the "radio" -- the first
>one I remember was a box... but, where we lived, it never got such an
>affectionate term. Maybe, if it was called "the box" where you were then it
>"might" be helpful to use, say, italics or quotation marks to denote it's
>difference from how others may understand what they read...
>
>
>> > Nanny and the Archers
>> >
>> > Long before Coronation Street
>> > nanny listened to the Archers
>> > Everything seemed to stop
>> > at the same time every evening
>> > the clocked ticked slower
>> > and the sun set his fixed stare
>> > through the front window
>> > Nanny’s knitting cuddled her knee
>> > and the mystery novel laughed
>> > with her reading glasses on the front page
>> > I sat cross-legged on the peg rug
>> > noted my Sunday best in the middle pattern
>> > listened to every word the box murmured
>> > Nanny’s wrinkles made patterns on her face
>> > and once I saw a tear stick in a narrow groove
>> > her brown eyes dance in the coal’s light
>> > and the bones of her fingers
>> > shake the china saucer
>> > I would sit in the half lotus position
>> > till the last la di da di da da faded
>> > and the click of the knob signalled
>> > my silence could end
>> > Nanny is not here anymore
>> > but the Archers can still bend my bow
>> > send the arrows flying to her memory
>> > as straight as her grip on my childhood.
>> >
>> > sally james
>>
>
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