Hi Sally,
This may just be me but the first 2 lines sound far too poetic for a poem!
It might be that I want an extra line before these two...
It might be that I want to see a picture before it's all starting to get
explained to me... and the title is trying to do that but I want something
far more specific. Maybe, to misqute tone-deaf-Tony Blur: location,
location, location!
Bob
Who's just returned to the north from a south where the hawthorn blossom's
now almost spent! But, if I'd written about it, I'd want to say just where I
saw I was so I could catch a clear glimpse of the blossom I was writing
about.
>From: Sally James <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub Hawthorn Blossom
>Date: Fri, 28 May 2004 17:11:18 +0100
>
>Hawthorn Blossom
>
>Blossom drops like loose stitches
>from the knitted garment of life
>a pattern of secrets
>woven into the whole
>falling like love lost
>and lace petals
>from the bridal dress
>twig needles click in the wind
>and branches cradle a soft green gown
>make way for fruit yet to be born
>blackbirds nest in the hawthorn
>sing in the filigree of blossom and leaves
>each bird their own song
>their breasts not pierced like the robin
>whose single chirp
>can be heard only in the thorns of winter
>when snow is the cloak that covers
>melts in the varying light
>instead of a falling to the earth
>like the loose veil of May.
>
>
>sally james
>
>_________________________________________________________________
>Express yourself with cool new emoticons
>http://www.msn.co.uk/specials/myemo
_________________________________________________________________
Use MSN Messenger to send music and pics to your friends
http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger
|