Hi Sally,
I like this poem a lot!
But I agree with the comments about where it should end! The last 4 lines,
IMO, are trying too hard to end the poem - while the poem's got its own
ending just before that...
However, if you feel you really want to emphasise the link between you in
the here and now and what was going on then then it might be that one of the
other things you mention - the clock's tick, the proggie mat, the novel, do
you wear glasses to read now but you didn't then?, drinking from a cup, or
whatever!, might help to link then and now...
Bob
Who also thinks "the box" relates more to the telly than the "wireless" as
we usually called it, but sometimes it got called the "radio" -- the first
one I remember was a box... but, where we lived, it never got such an
affectionate term. Maybe, if it was called "the box" where you were then it
"might" be helpful to use, say, italics or quotation marks to denote it's
difference from how others may understand what they read...
> > Nanny and the Archers
> >
> > Long before Coronation Street
> > nanny listened to the Archers
> > Everything seemed to stop
> > at the same time every evening
> > the clocked ticked slower
> > and the sun set his fixed stare
> > through the front window
> > Nanny’s knitting cuddled her knee
> > and the mystery novel laughed
> > with her reading glasses on the front page
> > I sat cross-legged on the peg rug
> > noted my Sunday best in the middle pattern
> > listened to every word the box murmured
> > Nanny’s wrinkles made patterns on her face
> > and once I saw a tear stick in a narrow groove
> > her brown eyes dance in the coal’s light
> > and the bones of her fingers
> > shake the china saucer
> > I would sit in the half lotus position
> > till the last la di da di da da faded
> > and the click of the knob signalled
> > my silence could end
> > Nanny is not here anymore
> > but the Archers can still bend my bow
> > send the arrows flying to her memory
> > as straight as her grip on my childhood.
> >
> > sally james
>
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