Well thanks Matt I am glad you liked the mystery novel laughing it was my
imagination working overtime again as she read some spine chilling books at
times. I will omit and "nanny is not here anymore."
About punctuation well it has always confused me as I did a creative writing
course once which completly confused me as I was told one thing and then the
other so now I just do as I please so don't exactly know what is acceptable.
Maybe either one thing or the other in a poem is the best thing like you
say.
Thanks for crits Sally J


>From: "Merritt, Matt - Leic. Mercury"
><[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new sub Nanny and the Archers
>Date: Mon, 24 May 2004 09:34:38 +0100
>
>Hi Sally,
>I liked this. There's a lot to enjoy but I especially liked "the mystery
>novel laughed with her reading glasses on the front page". What an unusual
>but immediately recognisable image!
>I think I would maybe lose "Nanny is not here anymore", which seems to me
>to
>spell out something that is fairly obvious from the tone of the rest of the
>poem, and then just finish with
>"the Archers can still bend my bow
>send the arrows flying to her memory
>as straight as her grip on my childhood."
>Like Grasshopper, I'd prefer to see regular punctuation, partly because I
>think the reader needs it, especially towards the middle of the poem, and
>partly because you do use capital letters for the proper nouns and a full
>stop at the end. I suppose what I'm saying is that I'd prefer all or
>nothing. Obviously though that's personal preference, and I'll be
>interested
>to hear what other people say in reply to Grasshopper's question.
>But back to the poem - very enjoyable, and it really conjures up a warm
>nostalgia without feeling sentimental.
>Regards,
>Matt
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
>Of Sally James
>Sent: 23 May 2004 10:53
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub Nanny and the Archers
>
>
>THIS EMAIL HAS BEEN SWEPT FOR VIRUSES BY THE NORTHCLIFFE GROUP MAILSWEEPER
>SERVER.
>
>Nanny and the Archers
>
>Long before Coronation Street
>nanny listened to the Archers
>Everything seemed to stop
>at the same time every evening
>the clocked ticked slower
>and the sun set his fixed stare
>through the front window
>Nanny's knitting cuddled her knee
>and the mystery novel laughed
>with her reading glasses on the front page
>I sat cross-legged on the peg rug
>noted my Sunday best  in the middle pattern
>listened to every word the box murmured
>Nanny's wrinkles made patterns on her face
>and once I saw a tear stick in a narrow groove
>her brown eyes dance in the coal's light
>and the bones of her fingers
>shake the china saucer
>I would sit in the half lotus position
>till the last la di da di da da faded
>and the click of the knob signalled
>my silence could end
>Nanny is not here anymore
>but the Archers can still bend my bow
>send the arrows flying to her memory
>as straight as her grip on my childhood.
>
>sally james
>
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