> Hello Christina,
I like this very much. Only one thing occurs to me and I mention it more as a question. It concerns the childrens´ castles on the beach. The way the line is written it seems to suggest actually seeing the castles whereas they would be too small for that. Of course, I understand that seeing the beach could be enough to make the narrator imagine the sandcastles and maybe that is enough. One way to suggest the role of imagination here rather than eyesight might be to change the verb `are´ to `have been´ which would clearly imply that the narrator is imagining. Just a thought, hope it´s useful.
Best wishes, Mike
> Lähettäjä: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2004/05/14 pe PM 04:52:38 GMT+03:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: New sub: Flying In
>
>
>
> Flying In
>
> And the sun's setting
> on the North Sea and bleached beaches
> where childrens' castles are swallowed over
> and over again. Seeing land
>
> through this small window. Cutting through
> altostratus, my wing red-tipped silver.
> For a moment, thinking of leading edges,
> hinges, the strength of metal ---
>
> until we circle straight rows of bulb fields
> at the point between long light and night.
> Watching men grow,
> looking up as we look down.
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> christina fletcher
>
>
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