Hi Helen,
The phrase "beyond the eye" (particularly with the comma before it!) seems
odd to me. I'm just reading it as a device to make the two words "Why" not
appear directly below each other. The poem's becoming so visual after that
anyway...
I'm also a little puzzled by the capital E on Eastern...
But I love the questions at the end!
I like the way the language shows technical words and more usual words and,
in doing that, helps to set up a state of mind where the narrator's thoughts
are aware of (at least) two separate or distinct notions.
For me the title works well, too. (Branch... trees... subtle!)
I've only one question... I'm assuming that the person is stood beside the
line (because of hearing the sound of the train lines) yet they're also
making the journey... so I'm a little confused just where the narrator is. I
picture she/he stood beside the track - maybe having just got off the train.
Am I right?
Bob
>From: Helen Clare <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: Small Mysteries of the Branch line.
>Date: Fri, 7 May 2004 18:12:22 +0100
>
>Small Mysteries of the Branch line
>
>Why the rails sing the song of the train
>seconds after it's rounded the bend,
>beyond the eye. Why a dead pigeon
>should be without mark, wings outstretched,
>one leg lifted, a single down feather
>across its face. Why the ragwort grows
>between the tracks but not between lines,
>parsley only on the Eastern bank.
>Why I'm making this journey again, today.
>Why, even knowing the chemical structures
>of chlorophyll, xanthophyll,
>and the carotenoids, I am eased
>by the colours of the hunched trees on the marsh.
>
>HC 070504
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