Hi Ryfkah,
It's difficult to comment on a poem about people when the poem is referring
to events or experiences that can only be guessed at - I feel, for instance,
that the passage:
Last year the one before
>the one before tell the tale
>of human souls who provide
>and acquire to forge
>a better world
is referring to something I can never know.
I'm also interested that you refer to them as "two souls". It's a rare word
to use these days. It adds veneration to what you're writing... is it a word
that belongs to the language you share with them?
I like the way the really short lines create quietness: even the exploding
galaxy seems silent!
And, as an aside, I'm also interested in the name of the place: Beth Ohr -
what's it mean?
Bob
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New: Two Souls
>Date: Fri, 30 Apr 2004 23:46:30 EDT
>
>Two Souls
>–for Rabbi Lawrence and Mrs. Carol Goldmark on twenty-five years of
>service
>at Temple Beth Ohr
>
>The sea cycles the shore
>steady as a clock's tick
>Time a snail trail
>stills the passing days
>Last year the one before
>the one before tell the tale
>of human souls who provide
>and acquire to forge
>a better world
>
>The skies stutter but speak
>from generation
>to generation to generation
>as our galaxy explodes
>and implodes star by star
>planet to planet
>
>So says the Holy One
>to the servants
>Go and do as I do
>Create Heaven on Earth
>make the Garden flourish
>the lamb and the lion
>to lie down on green pasture
>
>And two souls journey
>from day to day
>through the years
>They seek justice
>pursue peace
>bestow love
>bless the world
>and are blessed
>
>Ryfkah 4/30/04
_________________________________________________________________
Express yourself with cool emoticons - download MSN Messenger today!
http://www.msn.co.uk/messenger
|