Hi Christina,
Now this one really intrigues me! I find myself reading it through and being
constantly surprised with what I come across next...
... I'm still thinking about the word "pounced" tho... it startles me more
than surprises me! I've just checked to see if there's a particular (but
unknown so far to me) meaning or use of the word that could make me feel
less startled by its unusualness. H'm, "I pounced my design..." If pounced
is an artists technical word that's accurate maybe "design" isn't saying
enough...
All else I'm enjoying immensely! I'm wondering about the ant... Not sure
why, tho! It just seems to appear! Perhaps the last three lines, or is it
just the last word, feel a little too quiet for a busy poem... or perhaps a
different title might help the impact of the last stanza...
Bob
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Slaking the Lime (first draft)
>Date: Sun, 18 Apr 2004 07:20:21 EDT
>
>
>
> Slaking the Lime
>
>
> I sketched insects in small sections ---
> each as much as I could paint in one session
> before the plaster hardened.
>
> Slaking the lime, I knew nothing
> could be better than space. Still,
> I pounced my design ---
>
> powdery pinpricks on wet walls ---
> without time to question
> wing angles or the sheen of a blowfly.
>
> Quick marks: sky through stalks
> and green lacewings, a mouthless mayfly,
> the sheath of a wood wasp.
>
> There's a crick in my neck,
> my back's broken. Stepping back,
> I think of the cheque.
>
> An ant sticks to the surface.
> Aphids float and drown
> in a pot of pigment.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> christina fletcher
_________________________________________________________________
Sign-up for a FREE BT Broadband connection today!
http://www.msn.co.uk/specials/btbroadband
|
