Hi Sally, Christina, grasshopper,
Yeh, I'm with what you're getting at too, Christina! For me it's as if the
poem's said something striking but in the last stanza it's as if it's
floundering around trying to find an ending!
The porcupine image really stands out too starkly and distracts.
It might well be that readers can infer the pain, wounds, without them
having to be described... Why else have the bones being shook at the chubby
little menace to our feelings?
Bob
Who's seen plenty of plastic cupids but no plastic porcupines!
And who's going to a reading tonight where the tickets cost £10! I don't
think I've ever paid that much before... so I know of the pain of poetry!
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub : Archery (Sally, M)
>Date: Fri, 16 Apr 2004 06:37:42 EDT
>
>Interesting how we all react differently to the same words, eh, Sally. It
>gives me problems for several reasons. Using porcupined as a verb is
>certainly
>original but, for me, it sticks out (so to speak) as an invention and feels
>artificial. It also conjures a very strong image of the animal in my mind.
>Perhaps, if I'd ever been stabbed by a porcupine quill, I'd relate to the
>pain
>rather than the visual image, which is much more to do with the animal
>itself
>than the pain it might inflict. So I find it difficult to deal with this
>after
>the tremendously convincing, original bones/runes image. What the poem
>leaves
>me with at the moment is the business of playing with language and a rather
>agitated little chap in the grass. Runes/bones leaves me with an emotion.
>It's all horses for courses. Perhaps it's good to have such conflicting
>reactions.
>bw
>c
>
> > Gosh I really liked the last two lines Christina as it sums up the pain
>of
> > the arrows entering the body metaphysically of course. A broken heart is
>a
> > gut feeling and the pain is almost physical. SallyJ
>
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