Hi Sally
I really liked this one. It has a flat, explanatory, almost prosaic tone - I
suspect deliberately so - and against the odds this works for me.
The repetition works in a hypnotic, claustrophobic way as phrases and
rhythms come back as if this is a trap the poet and subject of the poem are
caught in.
I think it hits at something very crucial in human relationships - how
difficult it is to allow our friends to be themselves, to be both separate
from them and attached from them.
I wasn't sure if it felt right to me to bring it down to Easter - it seems
to narrow the poem at the end - it seems to me essentially a soliloquy on
friendship and I wasn't sure why Easter mattered - although I guess it
brings the religion back in and ends in a concrete image which is good after
all the contemplation.
Best
Helen
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sally Evans" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, April 09, 2004 9:22 PM
Subject: Poem: A time to be silent
> I wish it was you having a birthday
> instead of you getting confirmed
> in a religion you know I do not believe in
> as if to say your life has nothing to do with me
> which you have a right to say
> but could say at less cost to yourself.
>
> I wish it was you having a birthday
> and you were not getting any older
> and not worrying about reaching a certain age
> and not finding it necessary to invite
> stray intellectual men to your apartment
> and then being surprised you were propositioned
>
> I wish it was you having a birthday
> instead of mourning a parent's death
> in a cocoon of your self sufficiency
> which is not really self sufficient
> else why this sudden conversion and why
> was I suddenly not enough of a friend for you
>
> I know I have no right to wish you anything
> but I wish it was different, which means to say
> it would all have to be very different indeed
> and it was you who was me having a birthday
> and neither you, who will, nor me, who will not feel old,
> opening this year's easter eggs, silently.
>
> Sally Evans
>
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