I wish it was you having a birthday
instead of you getting confirmed
in a religion you know I do not believe in
as if to say your life has nothing to do with me
which you have a right to say
but could say at less cost to yourself.
I wish it was you having a birthday
and you were not getting any older
and not worrying about reaching a certain age
and not finding it necessary to invite
stray intellectual men to your apartment
and then being surprised you were propositioned
I wish it was you having a birthday
instead of mourning a parent's death
in a cocoon of your self sufficiency
which is not really self sufficient
else why this sudden conversion and why
was I suddenly not enough of a friend for you
I know I have no right to wish you anything
but I wish it was different, which means to say
it would all have to be very different indeed
and it was you who was me having a birthday
and neither you, who will, nor me, who will not feel old,
opening this year's easter eggs, silently.
Sally Evans
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