Mike, as usual I want S of one length. Otherwise #2 seems prosey to me.
Through foliage some light leaks
that also shines on ancient turf
and porous, gravid buildings
I would cut the also and the in line 4.
Smiles.
Gary
GO TO http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ TO SUBMIT THE BEST NEW ZINE ON THE WEB.
Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
|