Hi Mike,
I very much like the way this work weights…in physical
& metaphysical ways, toward the Soaked image and
possible interpretations. That openness makes the
subject inviting. The timing feels quite fit: it takes
a bit of time to soak. I like the story telling
tone…also quite fit, in several ways. In fact, for me,
the tone and time are so well tuned that I hesitate to
suggest anything more than nips-
And those gently, maybe like this:

It was a wet morning in `61 or `2
when the rain streamed down 
from a gray sky in rods;
surrounded our shoes.

Pockmarks jumped on a ground
we could not separate, asphalt 
from puddle, before we knew 
the word `torrential.

The playground deserted, 
the school entrance a frame 
for heaving backs
pushing, blockage in front; 
and wet, gray socks.

A jostling mass moved me 
to a muggy cloakroom, 
full  of jabber; full of voices.

Wet gabardine squirms and squeezes
along a line of uniform navy-blue raincoats- 
to a haven; my familiar peg, determined 
by my rank in the height range of my class.
A struggle with belts and sleeves; damp skins, 
single file; desk-lid bangs.

____________thanks for letting me play. Hope I haven’t
done things you hate.
Later
calaya



__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Finance Tax Center - File online. File on time.
http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html