Hi Rob,
I enjoyed these. Thanks. You’re right: they’re almost
“there.” The first read, Quick Work, was confusing as
to image. Once I got the image I needed time to hear
sounds and timing that might fit closer for a Quick
Work. I wonder what you think of something like this:
Wheel Rope and Bell
The Quick Work
Bronze hammers, swung,
clamor treble and brass skyward, saint-named;
stake claims in the course. Cascades
thrown from the high-stone
speak in steely winds; preach
fear and elation to opened fields.
____
Dodging
I get the image clear and quick enough, but the timing
for a dodge I tweaked in S2 and for S3 a slight line
reconstruction towards a clearer image: if* I’ve seen
what you see. Smile. BTW, it brought back bittersweet
young memories- hunting with my brother. I also think
you might consider opening this with Dodge/ing, then
the Quick Work; for me, the overall effect would be
improved in that it would build into the form the
“circles and calculus” magnified in The Slow Work.
Dodge (nix ing?)
(other nit notes below)
Follow through columns,
see the twist of the courses:
the one bell falling and gaining. [ nix the capped
T?]
In slow, half turn,
right, middle,
wrong, right,
the second half-turn
and into the hunt. ( break suggestions)
Echoing silence.
Strands of the peal
knell wrack the songbirds; (nix the ed in wrack?)
a strange competition threads thermals
with dissonance: primary sound rainbows.
(Lines reconstructed toward "strands" image)
______
The Slow(est?) Work ( I don’t think u need the
The(s)…here or in The Quick work)
Edifice wrought by wheel and rope
of definite time and fox-like employment (nix it’s?)
ill fall and diminish,
wrong and home.
Touched observations of circles and calculus
end in nothing, rest in stone.
Out of the hunt,
called and repeated,
four times repeated,
wrong and home.
____
Hope any of this helps. Forgive if I've done too much?
Later
calaya
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