Thanks Bob, just what I needed on this one.



bw
James





>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New sub:The Tall Thin Man
>Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2004 12:27:06 +0000
>
>Hi James,
>I like this! I'm also reminded of a poet from the middle of the last
>century, Jaques Prevert - someone I really liked years and years ago and
>still enjoy returning to! He often wrote poems about individual people in
>Paris in the 1940s and I think there's a magic in the simple ways he
>describes them!
>I think the 1st stanza is brill (it's working like I feel I'd like Frank's
>absentee poem to work - putting the big statement (about life & death) in
>so
>quietly yet powerfully).
>I feel the rest of the poem is a bit loose, tho. If the rest of the poem
>became just one stanza I'd feel better about it. (And I'd suggest "friends
>and families walk and talk" can appear on one line - because the guy
>doesn't
>talk anyway!)
>Bob
>
>
>>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: New sub:The Tall Thin Man
>>Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2004 13:46:20 +0000
>>
>>This is a rough cut from the notebook. I'd be interested in what you
>>think.
>>
>>THE TALL THIN MAN
>>
>>I missed the tall thin man today
>>who sits on a bench outside
>>the public library on good days
>>and basks in the sun
>>raises his head to receive its rays
>>extends his arms his hands open
>>as if he somehow prays -
>>light like this looks to be to him
>>the difference betwen life and death.
>>
>>There have been many non-sun days.
>>
>>This is a good week day sun day
>>with no cloud - though cold.
>>
>>His bench in the sun is empty
>>
>>though kids on skateboards
>>and bikes are here
>>
>>friends and families walk
>>and talk
>>
>>though no true sunworshipper today-
>>
>>maybe the darkness got him.
>>
>>
>>bw
>>James
>>
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