Thanks Matt.
As I just wrote to Frances, and to James earlier, I feel as if I'm stumbling
with the writing at present. It's hard to know what works and what doesn't.
I'l tackle the section you referred to on revision - see if I can sort it a
bit better.
Cheers,
Frank
> Hi Frank,
> I agree with Frances. I liked this and don't think it's too angst-y at
all.
> I think the tone throughout is regretful but never self-pitying, and the
> ending offers possibilities of further progress, and further regret. Most
of
> all, though, I think it's recognisably your tone.
> Also, I think those lines:
> "my analysis
> yes I was the analyst even then
> my analysis knew..." undercut any chance the poem might have veered into
> teen angst.
> The only stanza I wasn't so sure about was:
> "perhaps that's the nature
> of youth
> pursuit of the unattainable
> simplistic complexity"
> Just sounded a bit awkward. Not sure what should be done though, so that's
> probably no help to you!
> But definitely don't bin it, IMHO.
> Regards,
> Matt
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