Hi John,
Wow, I'm really singing now! The rhythm's really got me!
I'm intrigued by the "how softly" and what it does by just hanging there,
too.
And I keep saying the last 2 stanzas out loud to myself and just grinning
with the delight of saying them! (but don't worry I used to do that with
lyrics from 60s Dylan Songs, with other lines of poems, with bits of
Shakespeare, with adverts...) I guess I find the last phrase, "starts to
play" so good. I don't know what it's playing (and I don't care! I just
enjoy the fact that it's playing!)
Bob
who probably didn't polish his shoes as much as Gerald! Or who used Pelaw
polish...
>From: Carley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Tobacco Road, part two
>Date: Fri, 19 Mar 2004 08:01:17 -0000
>
>Tobacco Road
>---------------
>
>somewhere
>down Tobacco Road
>Mona's jiving
>with the moon
>
>please don't drop
>that chouzubachi
>on my toe
>
>in the main
>the haikai spirit
>is opposed
>to artifice
>
>her cleavage
>rather deeper
>than his glass
>
>round the town
>a sticky plum bun
>a pig
>led off to market
>
>so clever
>they've forgotten
>how to pray
>
>* * *
>
>autumn wind
>oh autumn wind
>a withered sapling
>fades to grey
>
>the coffee table
>weighted down
>with chrome
>
>a piton
>hammered through the ice
>to fix
>a yard of sky
>
>a silence
>that is nothing more
>than silence
>how softly
>
>the mosquito treads
>how suddenly
>the virus
>
>a modern means
>to win the war
>on waste
>
>oh cherry blossom
>cherry blossom
>cherry cherry
>blossom
>
>and so
>the old victrola
>starts to play
>
>* * *
>
>
>all comment and crits gratefully etcered, john e c
_________________________________________________________________
Express yourself with cool new emoticons http://www.msn.co.uk/specials/myemo
|