----- Original Message -----
From: "Helen Clare" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 1:02 PM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] Two Poems to chose from.


Hi All

Here's a little problem I need some help with.
I'm trying to decide which of these two poem to put in my collection.

Both the editor and I are agreed that they are too similar in subject matter
to include both but I prefer Anchor Point and he prefers Belay.

It would really help me to know which ones you prefer and if you have time
to think about it, why.

Thanks

Helen




Anchor Point

At least we're past all that - those days
when a late return from the rock
could birth a cry
that had me on all fours.

These days there's no call
for the splash of cold water,
the measuring of steps from the slam
of Landrover doors to his voice

in the stairwell, finding me
calm as the chamomile pads
I kept for my eyes.
Something has cooled

between us. It's easier, now
the lie has set like steel,
fixed so firm you could hang
a marriage from it.

Only, sometimes I'm woken
by the whirr
of rope slipping through metal,
faster than a hand's reflex.


Belay

He's home: I leave him in the bath and go downstairs.
Everything's still packed. Rucksacks bulge
with pitons, clips; the metal nuts that wedge in rock.

Only the rope spills from its canvas bag, thick
and muscular. It kinks as if it can't quite shake
the memory of the knots that held him.

Grains of other places chafe between damp threads
of lime and black. Upstairs those grains are loosed
from skin and hair, eased from the crevices of his nails.

I hear him call me; touch the rope. Pluck its weave.
Notice how the threads are formed from filaments,
fine as hair. I could snap the stray ones in my teeth.

I thread it through my fingers, the way I remember -
feel again his weight in my hands, my hips harnessed,
see the rope coil thickening by my feet as he ascends

to heights I'd never dare. A slip jars my pelvis,
a fall forces a pad of air beneath my heel,
before I adjust the centre of my gravity.

I let it go. Soon it will dry, release its grit to the carpet.
Later, one of us will vacuum, clean the bath. Now
I'll climb the stairs.



---
I printed this out so I could read them more leisurely.

One first reading I didn't get to grips with Anchor Point
unable to find my footing with it.

Belay
is a powerful poem, well crafted.

Having read that poem
I went back to Anchor Point and in the light of "Belay"
understood the poem more and enjoyed it.

I don't know whether it is a question of space or balance that dictates you
can only have one of the poems in the book.
If I were your editor I'd want to include both, printing Belay first and
Anchor Point later. In a collection there is nothing wrong with more than
one poem on a single subject as it focuses the reader. If space were a
problem I'd consider chucking out some other weaker poem, but then I don't
know what other poems are up for inclusion.
If you can only have one, then I'd say go with Belay.

best wishes
Gerald

PS
At least the fact that you are asking shows you have an editor that is
considerate and concerned to put forward the best selection.