I really like this James as I too listen to classic FM on long journeys. So
calming in the busy traffic. I like the title Crossroads, with its double
meanings. I do think it could do with a little pruning here and there to
make it a little sharper. There seems quite a few too many "as" words. and
also "crosses" comes in quite a lot too. You also go from past to present
tense. I do like the thought behind this poem.
BW Sally J
>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Crossroads
>Date: Sat, 4 Jan 2003 11:46:14 +0000
>
>My first this year. Could be my last. Who knows? It not in a final form so
>comments are welcome. Text format is difficult to form into something more
>concrete (no reference to a certain type of poetry intended).
>
>CROSSROADS
>
>A blue tit heard the flute pitch
> through windscreen glass
>as you watched each other listen over the ditch,
> a chasm each instinct of the other said
>could not be crossed.
> You do not care for darkness
>and your eyes swallow whole
> the antics of the small bird outside
>as he brightens up your day
> in the brief midday sunlight
>as both respond in different ways
> to the Mozart concerto being played on Classic FM
>
>It crosses your mind that as the
>twenty-first century gets underway
>how poetry from the last
>is still being assessed -
>
> it crosses your mind in the same way
>as the flute crosses the mind
> of your little buddy the blue tit
>who assessed Mozart in an instant
> though between the three
>only Mozart's combination of notes
> are the constants here - for
>your mind flits free like the bird
> that soon disappears and leaves
>you with your thoughts as they
> appear at the crossroads you sit near
>
>
>
>bw
>James
>
>
>
>
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