Thanks David,
Hows about....
One became a bruv for real, but died behind the wheel/
Philip
>From: Brigid Anthony <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new submission: One
>Date: Sat, 1 Feb 2003 20:05:56 -0500
>
>I like it very much.
>Clever structure; real empathy.
>I think you need an internal rhyme in L9.
>Regards,
>David
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