Jim, I like your walk along the river, but thoughts of mine below:
Peace again today. (I would drop these lines or make them - peace today
without etc
No human involvement.
Such is the blessed irony
as the curlew dawdles (a)
and pecks at the sandbar surface
beside the river we all suppose
is still flowing
though you's have to (you'd)
dip a finger to tell.
Not often you can count ten terns
standing in a perfectly straight row
on the waterline
on a stage the curlew has now left (drop on and now)
while the usual flocks of gulls and geese
are gathered much further out - yes, (drop are for gather much
exceptional peace today
where the scene reflects
just part of that word's true power. (the end may be why I'm wrong about the
beginning)(no just for part of the word's etc)
Thanks.
Gary
Jan Jenifer Lawrence at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html ---
Writer's Hood at http://www.writershood.com/... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas
sí, balas no!
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