Hi Mike,
Now this makes me chuckle! Hey - I really like the first stanza break! And
the way the first line of the next stanza (with it's cesura, its mid-line
pause) follows it! That's brill!
But I'm still mulling over the last stanza...
I'm not yet sure what to make of it!
And I'm still working through the way the preceding stanza ends... Are you
saying that feeling is like the tide - which is like a sling? Or are your
feelings, too, held in a sling (then thrown out! Or carried because they've
been hurt)? Maybe it's me but I can't yet connect the tide and a sling (that
throws things - or that supports a broken arm...).
But the poem sets of in a jaunty, forceful, demanding way (which I really
like!). Couldn't it carry on like that, capture the sentiments you're
getting to at the end in the same bold register?
Bob
PS I'm still thinking through/reading through yr last e-mail about images...
B





>From: Mike Horwood <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Feeling
>Date: Mon, 27 Jan 2003 14:58:00 +0200
>
>Feeling
>
>If this feeling was a colour
>it would be invisible.
>If this feeling was a building
>it would fall down.
>If this feeling was an idea
>it would make no sense
>and would have no place
>in a poem like this
>that contains only colours
>
>and buildings. And actions,
>like a dog chasing a rat,
>or waves running up a beach
>and falling back,
>or the way gravity pulls
>but can also repel
>with the force of a sling.
>
>If this feeling was action
>it would be a series of movements,
>of coming together and going apart
>with in fact no feeling, or will, at all.
>
>
>
>Mike


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