Hi David,
IMHO this is yr best so far! Behind the story of the poem, the narrative you
give me, I find so much. The details all carry resonances: the blade, the
fact that they're being brought home, the point that the glass bottle is
full (interesting... do the flowers spill some of the water when they're put
in I wonder), the mention of a chair that could be sat on while waiting...
Each time I've read it through I've discovered something more.
I too may adjust the line-breaks in the first stanza - if it were mine. And
worry over how to maybe replace one of the words ening with "ing" in the
last line.
Bob
>From: "D.C Bursey" <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Fading
>Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 13:34:58 -0330
>
>Flowers in a garden waiting for
>the edge of a blade
>to cut them.
>
> A straw basket waits
>for a hand on the handle
>to bring flowers home.
>
>The glass bottle painted purple,
> filled to the brim with water,
>waits for sweet smells and colours.
>
>A walnut table in the room with
>paint faded lighter than the velvet
>that covers my chair.
>
>I am here with the flowers,
>life, colours in full bloom,
>waiting for the fading.
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