Thanks, Christina. Your, "You think that I'll....", is just as good in my
reading. I'll give it more mulling. Philipus
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new submission: THE SIGHT OF AUTUMN (second draft)
>Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003 14:03:18 EST
>
>Much prefer this draft, Phil and I'm sure you'll read it very well. It's
>full of clever, lovely stuff but (oh dear...) the line 'You think I will be
>left behind' - I can't get it to flow that well. I keep wanting to
>change
>it to ' You think that I'll be left behind.' What do you think? Is it
>just
>the way I'm reading it?
>bw
>christina
>
>
> > THE SIGHT OF AUTUMN…. (second draft)
> >
> > - a villanelle
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > As I am red-green colour-blind -
>
> > or ‘colour challenged’ be it said.
>
> > You think I will be left behind
>
> >
>
> > when a palette of hues, unkind
>
> > as showy Autumn’s, rears its head.
>
> > As I am red-green colour-blind
>
> >
>
> > you think that russets must incline
>
> > to show me nothing much instead?
>
> > You think I will be left behind.
>
> >
>
> > But in my canopy of mind
>
> > bright green communicates as red.
>
> > As I am red-green colour-blind
>
> >
>
> > I can see olive green enshrined
>
> > in pale brown that, to you, is dead.
>
> > You think I will be left behind
>
> >
>
> > by October leaves, yet I find
>
> > them charming, uncomplicated.
>
> > As I am red-green colour-blind
>
> > you think I will be left behind.
>
>
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