Dear David,
I think this may be the best poem fromyou that I've read.
May I suggest a couple of things-
S1.
I think a better line-break would be
Flowers in a garden waiting
for the edge of a blade
(or even trim to 'for the blade;?)
Final stanza- I think there is a jangle caused by waiting/fading.
How about
Here, with the flowers,
colours in full bloom,
I wait for the fading.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "D.C Bursey" <[log in to unmask]
Sent: Saturday, January 25, 2003 5:04 PM
Subject: [THE-WORKS] Fading
> Flowers in a garden waiting for
> the edge of a blade
> to cut them.
>
> A straw basket waits
> for a hand on the handle
> to bring flowers home.
>
> The glass bottle painted purple,
> filled to the brim with water,
> waits for sweet smells and colours.
>
> A walnut table in the room with
> paint faded lighter than the velvet
> that covers my chair.
>
> I am here with the flowers,
> life, colours in full bloom,
> waiting for the fading.
>
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