hi mike,
i like everything about this poem
but i get a strong sound of a change in tempo between
lines 5 & 6 and wonder about a stansza break, with
line 6 leading the transition, as:
when energy flowed like sap
and the stream released from amnesiac ice?
And to what extent did the fall
***
all the way to:
that at last agrees with him?
see what u think. i may be daft
later
calaya
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Protect your identity with Yahoo! Mail AddressGuard
http://antispam.yahoo.com/whatsnewfree
|