Hi Gary,
        This one I like very much. I think the listing style is right for your subject, and that, plus, the selection of details builds up that sense of life passing as we always wait for something else. My only problems were in the S2. Literally, it is not the clocks that winds round the dial, but the hand. And I just didn´t get the comparison with the track anchored by bridges. Have I been obtuse? Everything else works well for me. The final couplet is great.


Best wishes,   Mike



--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
I Wait

for mom to call dinner
the call for a job
you to say yes
the doctor to finish his rounds
daddy to get home
the last bell,
the first day of school

the clock to wind its way round the dial
like a track anchored on both ends
by wash-out bridges

dad to finish his peas
the interview to be over
your crooked smile
the doctor to get to the point
quiet time
afternoons in the library
new clothes new haircut new shoes

the shadows on the wall
to lengthen into dawn
as crows squabble over greasy paper

the last shoe to drop
the last dog to die

Jan Jenifer Lawrence at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html ---
Writer's Hood at http://www.writershood.com/... Poets for Peace.... ¡Poemas
sí, balas no!