Hello Grasshopper,
This is really good. It´s full of wonderful phrases. I love `dampened lovingly´, `the intimate juices of discarded tissues´( oh, my goodness), `significance of nothings´(very witty) and many more. And the internal rhymes and variations on sounds, and the rhythm of the lines. The only thing that jars a bit is the ending. This Dog´s got everything, you don´t need God.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
This is a very first draft that came today, after rescuing a sodden pome
from my dog's chops, so be as brutal as you like... I am v unsure about it..
Carrier
My dog is a carrier, not of disease,
but of bits and pieces, scraps, snippets, litter,
torn cardboard, notepaper.
Some are rescued from the fliptop bin,
dampened lovingly, sucked for lingering traces,
some found adrift, air-lifted, fostered.
Ah, how the transparent case holds the essence
of chocolate ghosts. the intimate juices
of discarded tissues, the syrup of a sugar-bag.
I, with my rubbish mentality, wonder at
this bliss of littleness, tastiness of trifles,
significance of nothings.
I clear away. She exhumes, redistributes,
attentive, soft-mouthed,
a muscular re-cycling unit, warm, inexorable.
If God exists, may he/she lift me from the heap
of throw-away, and mumble me into a word
like dog.
grasshopper
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