Hi Calaya
I really like this. Before I read your own comments it had seemed to me like
a secular prayer - a celebration of spirituality rather than religion,
linked in with the physicality of the earth and the body. Love "suck up" at
the end. It's rather plain speaking and grounds the poem - and at the same
time non-specific. It could mean different things and opens the poem out.
I'm less certain about Great Music. It's a nice phrase but the capitals
draws awful weight to it in a poem this short - and makes it feel as though
its a quote. I guess it's like capitalisting God, but somehow it feels heavy
handed in a poem which has a ligthness of touch. And then using it in the
title is like saying these words are three times as important as any other
words in the poem - and I'm not sure they are three times as good or three
times as interesting.
Helen
----- Original Message -----
From: calaya <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, December 01, 2003 12:12 AM
Subject: new sub: Great Music Make Over


> C & C, if u please.
> calaya
>
> ^^^^
> Great Music Make Over
>
> May our waters and airs,
> subject to gravity, grasp us.
>
> May tides guide our turns in,
> and Great Music make over
>
> everything we swallow
> and suck up.
>
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