Hi Gary,
What a delight to read! It sends my thoughts racing in all kinds of ways: 
the confusions/conundrums felt in a relationship. It shows the way in which 
poetry says what cannot be said IMHO!
The footnote also brings in a lot more senses (smell, taste, a trembling 
before a sensation of touch...).
I'm wondering if mentioning the sea works well enough in context... I get 
the idea of something vast and calm (which is a fine contrast to the atoms 
whizing around) but it seems out of place...
Could the poem work well without the stanza? (It does for me!)
Bob
Who's had this reply dozing on his computer for a week! Sorry!


>From: Gary Blankenship <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Sgriob*
>Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 13:21:14 -0800
>
>Sgriob*
>
>(pick up the phone
>before it rings
>
>answer the door
>before the knock)
>
>Before he touches her,
>before his breath disturbs the fine hairs
>on the back of her neck,
>before her clothes wrinkle,
>her palms sweat
>and thighs ache
>
>although he is quiet as a becalmed sea,
>she knows he's there,
>the atoms of air between them
>compressed until they squeak in protest
>
>She knows what he will do,
>each movement his fingers will make
>and her upper lip trembles in anticipation
>
>He speaks
>-Babe, I think.-
>
>and she knows
>
>(feel the wind
>hear the branch before it breaks)
>
>
>
>
>*Scottish for the itchiness that overcomes the upper lip just before taking
>a sip of whisky
>
>
>
>The homepage on hold until ???--- Writer's Hood, the best poetry on the 
>web,
>at http://www.writershood.com/  Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!

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