Hi Mike,

Don't think I've replied to this note, yet, either - apologies.

Glad you enjoyed the piece. The 'cut snake' is very Australian. They're
protected now, but back a while they used to be killed on sight. If you
missed your aim and cut the snake or only winged it - the response was
predictable. I personally like 'mad as a meat axe', though I don't think it
means anything much - just sounds good to me.

I think I'll takle your advice and remove the last line. It's consistently
being commented on, so it ought to go, I suspect.

Cheers,

Frank


> Hello Frank,
              I like this piece very much. The speaking voice is just right,
IMHO, and all the line breaks. You´re absolutely right giving that `oh´ a
line of its own. I was intrigued by the similie `mad as a cut snake´. I´ve
not come across that before, I guess it´s an Aussie expression? The sense is
perfectly transparent, of course. I guess the use of the `presentation´ is
professional vocabulary in this context. Again, it was unexpected but the
sense is clear so it´s not a problem. I think the only thing that jarred for
me was the final line. Could it simply be removed?


Best wishes,   Mike


> Lähettäjä: Frank Faust <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2003/11/15 la PM 10:36:52 GMT+02:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: Sub - not a lot, anymore
>
> not a lot, anymore
>
> we're standing in the staff courtyard
> it's break time
> and we're doing coffee and a cigarette
> when he says to me
>
> I've always worked in psych
> I love it
>
> I've never been tempted
> by anything else
>
> it's changed though
> from the old days
> oh
> a hell of a lot really
>
> a deep drag
> the blue smoke of a moment of reflection
> a sip out of the styofoam cup
> and he adds
>
> you know what
>
> about a year ago
> we had a real old fashioned case come in
> like we used to get
> in the old days
>
> no drugs
> no family history
> no obvious causes
> just crazy
>
> mad as a cut snake actually
>
> it was a first presentation
> and it took a while
> but we fixed him up
> he got better and we turned him loose
> he hasn't been back
>
> that's what I like best
> good straight-forward madness
> that you can do something with
>
> but you don't see much of that
> anymore
>
> time to get back to work
>
> ~
>