Hi grasshopper,
I hadn't noticed the oddness of the first line until I read someone else's
comment that highlighted it! Now I can't get along with it!!
I wanted to point out how I found: "A dying will seems such a good idea."
felt awkward (a dying will???) but I now can't get beyond reading the first
line!
And I'm not yet convinced by the title... It sort of feels only 75% OK.
Bob


>From: grasshopper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Last Orders
>Date: Wed, 12 Nov 2003 10:44:55 -0000
>
>Apologies as I seem to be writing quite a few morbid poems at present. This
>is probably the lightest in tone of them.......
>
>
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>
>Last Orders
>
>
>I'm ordering a Hollywood decline.
>The symptoms are ideal: not being sick,
>the application of a pale lip slick,
>some floaty scarves, a duty to recline
>against silk pillows, being brave, while friends
>and family troop in with gifts and flowers
>and wet-eyed memories of rosy hours.
>Stock shots of surf and seabirds when it ends.
>
>Spare me the vulgar things, like diarrhoea,
>depression, pain; they're for the hoi polloi.
>A dying will seems such a good idea.
>I want a starry close, so please employ
>soft-focus, and cue choirs' Ave Maria,
>then fade me out with Ludwig's Ode to Joy.

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