Hi Helen,
Not so much a crit of the poem but, rather a comment...
Because I like what it's doing, and it's doing it well, - but, like
Christina wrote, I too sort of feel I want to say "And..."
But that might be a little unfair because...
I'm not expecting this tone and...
I think pieces like this have their own work to do. Maybe not as
get-me-out-into-the-open pieces but often alongside other poems. I've got
plenty of poems sleeping peacefully in files somewhere or other that "might"
start nudging me, start saying "Hey, don't forget me! I can
underpin/undermine/echo what you've just written!" Often something that
appears so different from what's usually written is just waiting it's
time... Text needs a context. I guess Stratford Willie might have had a few
mega-good speeches, a few canny jokes, sat on shelves for years before the
plays came along to carry them. But I'm just rambling on...
Bob
>From: Helen Clare <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: Hair
>Date: Sun, 9 Nov 2003 18:45:53 -0000
>
>Well, **** me. A love poem. I never expected that!
>H
>
>
>Hair
>
>The time we've had, and weeks apart, and now
>we're talking hair. How mine's grown. I turn
>to let you touch its shoulder wisp, and stubbornly
>red, despite the mail I'd sent to say I'd died it plum.
>
>You're going for a rat tail - which curls against your will.
>Without the regulation crop you'd look at daft
>as Charles the First. I take the curl and stretch it
>easily enough to make a plait, then let it go again.
>
>It curls like leave in autumn, leaves in spring, like tongues
>and tails, like smoke, like song. I'd curl the very air
>like this. Like shaving parmesan, like scorching paint,
>like dragging ribbon between a scissor blade
>
>and finger end. I'd wrap it round a rag, or spit and clip
>it to your nape. If I could, I'd curl this thread of time,
>sleep tonight and wake and wait for this: skin on skin,
>breath on breath, Your single curl slaked with sweat.
>
>Helen Clare
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