> Hello Shah,
I think this is my favourite of the pieces you´ve posted recently. I noticed a typo in S3 where `her´ should be `hers´. And I´m just wondering whether `the escape route´ isn´t abit heavy and clichéd. What about `a way out´ or something similar?
Best wishes, Mike
> Lähettäjä: c s shah <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2003/11/12 ke PM 07:04:56 GMT+02:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: Impressions-Revised
>
> Impressions (Revised)
>
> After the eruption
> lava flows over earth
> and carves forever
> the shape of a river.
> Sorrows of the centuries pour
> as the clouds gather in the eye.
>
> Hot sand scalds my soles now
> as I walk over the dried-up
> river-bed.
> Tears are long exhausted,
> but the sorrows have no end.
>
> On the hard igneous bed you'll
> find the fossil-imprints
> of our feet -
> mine, her, and of a friend
> who tried to show us
> the escape route.
> This was a land-locked territory
> of the cursed continent, not
> the soft sand of a seashore.
> --
>
> c s shah
>
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