Mike, I think you're working to hard to tell us something in this one and it
loses it's rhythm and becomes a bumpy ride.
The last stanza to me seems to rise out of poetry into exposition.
Since the hidden figure is not revealed and loses it's dimensions
"...of a hidden figure in the palace,
some shape or symbol concealed"
It's hard to know what it's suppose to be and what we're suppose to see. I
like the effect of the man that wasn't there- I really think this works for
the poem, but just a suggestion if the narrator is bored and unimpressed
it's hard not to agree with him/her.
I don't want to lose the fact that I think you have a real mystery working
for you in your Winter Palace. Annabelle.
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of Mike Horwood
Sent: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 5:59 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: New sub: The hidden figure
The Hidden Figure
We came to see the winter palace,
just two among the thousands.
We walked along the north facade,
admired its thrusting columns.
We observed the towers and turrets
and the cupola on the roof,
wandered through the garden
with its fountains spouting spray.
It was only when we entered
that the guide began her story,
how a legend from the distant past
preserved the mystery
of a hidden figure in the palace,
some shape or symbol concealed
in its design which the architect placed
there but which had never been revealed.
We mounted stairs by the dozen,
looked at paintings, gazed in mirrors.
We penetrated to the inner sanctum,
according to our guide, and Iīm sure we did.
It was all quite stimulating
but by the time we withdrew
to the cafe for refreshments
I was limp with exhaustion.
A palace is just a place to live
as far as Iīm concerned. Itīs house
writ big, but still a house
and I wouldnīt fancy paying the heating bill.
I donīt believe in hidden figures,
that legendīs just a con.
At least thatīs what I think.
I canīt speak for my companion.
Mike
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