Helen, I'm not sure that the change in person works for me. I appreciate
why you do it, but it is nearly a bump. Here
I'm laid out on paper, knickerless
a mirror facing my open legs.
a comma after knickerless
and an interesting choice, knickerless that is. Others would completely
change the mood.
spelling of leave?
tense of drink (drunk?)
Interesting.
Thanks.
Gary
The homepage on hold until ???--- Writer's Hood, the best poetry on the web,
at http://www.writershood.com/ Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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