Hi Mike,
You write: "Is there a better image for the sights we see in our 
imagination, which is what the `vivid bloom´"
And I reply: "Dunno... but I'm thinking that whatever words get into the 
poem have to belong to the poem, maybe echo/resonate/belong with all else 
that's there."
So, maybe... if the vivid bloom was vivid enough to be a purple geranium (!) 
(if such a flower exists!) I'd mention the flower in the title, or in the 
poem, so the reader can see the flower and find the experience of vividness 
for themselves.
Bob

from: Mike Horwood <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Mike's "Gift" - Bob
>Date: Mon, 3 Nov 2003 12:33:26 +0200
>
> > Hello Bob,
>             Thanks for your feedback on this one. It´s interesting that 
>you mention the words `vivid bloom´. This strted out as `pungent bloom´ but 
>I felt it was a bit clichéd and I was quite chuffed when I came up with 
>`vivd´ because it´s so often used about imagination and it sounds like `la 
>vie/viva´ and that association with real life contrasted nicely with the 
>theme of living in the imagination. But it´s not really the adjective that 
>youre questioning, I think, but the presence of the whole image, so I´ll 
>have to think it over. Is there a better image for the sights we see in our 
>imagination, which is what the `vivid bloom´ refers to, at least in my 
>vivid imagination.
>
>
>
>Best wishes,   Mike
>
>
> > Lähettäjä: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
> > Päiväys: 2003/11/03 ma AM 02:22:14 GMT+02:00
> > Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> > Aihe: Re: Mike's "Gift"
> >
> > Hi Mike,
> > I like this poem! The pictures it paints include mood and tenderness. 
>The
> > phrase: "these things need me to look after them" is amazingly powerful!
> > (And after reading the different phrasing of the first line - all the 
>more
> > so!)
> > If it were mine (which I wish it were!) I'd be thinking hard about the 
>words
> > "this vivid bloom" in the last stanza... and wondering if I've got it 
>right.
> > I'd be thinking which vivid bloom? (thinking I need to see what it is 
>that's
> > blooming as much as I can see everything else: the apples, the tree 
>trunks,
> > the sea... etc.). If I felt awkward about changing the line I might 
>consider
> > including the information I want elsewhere, in the title perhaps).
> > Bob
> >
> >
> >
> > >Gift
> > >
> > >These things can look after themselves.
> > >The early summer apples hang tight
> > >and hard, or lie in the dew-soaked
> > >grass in the shade below the trunks.
> > >
> > >I look far beyond them to where
> > >a night-dark sea rises and falls
> > >with a compelling rhythm.
> > >The same rhythm that under-
> > >
> > >pins Brahms´ fourth symphony.
> > >`Er lebte wie ein richtiger Künstler,´
> > >you told me once. I see you, too.
> > >The sky is as black as your hair.
> > >
> > >The blind casts moonlight stripes
> > >across my back in the same way
> > >that the wind carries night scents.
> > >These things need me to look after them.
> > >
> > >You move under a palm. Your silhouette
> > >crosses the moon-path on the water.
> > >You bring me this vivid bloom,
> > >this gift of a luscious fruit with a waxy rind.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Mike
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
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