My only comment would be to leave out "perhaps a leaf" I like the way the
line falls on "in the ashes there is stirring something green." You mention
falling leaves and I like "hands that cannot meet..."
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of Sue Scalf
Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2003 11:54 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Pyre much revised
Adirondack Swing
The way purple streaks and slants,
flambeaux ignite the orchard
in sunset light,
touch with gold the fruit
fallen in the grass.
Shadows portend winter night.
Moving in the wind, two vacant seats
face the lake; empty now the slats
where our backs leaned.
Grapes swag
and droop upon the vine,
apples mellow on the ground,
the fulfillment of roses and of wine
touch places where we dreamed,
now autumn's funeral pyre.
Winesap, grapes, falling leaves,
all of these return again,
hands that cannot meet reach yet.
In the ashes there is stirring
something green, perhaps a leaf.
Sue Scalf
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