Sue, I would look at the articles - esp the - in these lines. Consider
cutting
touch with gold the fruit
face the lake; empty now the slats
the fulfillment of roses and of wine (and the second of here)
touch places where we dreamed,
now autumn's funeral pyre.
In the ashes there is stirring
To my ear, these cause the read to bump along.
Good theme.
Thanks.
Gary
The homepage on hold until ???--- Writer's Hood, the best poetry on the web,
at http://www.writershood.com/ Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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