Hi Paul,
I like the way this poem leads me to somewhere I can't quite explain. I find
it reads easily - even though it seems to go against the grain of how poems
get written there's no denying it's written well. It all gets more and more
bizzare - and then ends with a tractor! It follows its own purpose -
regardless!
I find, tho, the lines:
"Nietzsche is dying
Achilles is born.
Mars and Venus masturbate"
always catch me out. (It interests me that others seem to puzzle over these
lines, too! And offer different comments on how they're reacting!). It's as
if I can associate everything else with the painting (and the painter) but I
can't work out what to do with these three statements. I usually link the
Mars & Venus statement to the next stanza - but I'm still wondering what to
do with Nietzche and Achilles!
I'm also wondering about your use of commas and full stops. I know
line-endings are creating their own punctuation but sometimes I keep wanting
to add more little marks!
But such are minor quibbles!
A fine read!
Bob
>From: paul murphy <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: submission
>Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2003 22:43:40 +0000
>
>Paul Murphy
>
>Sketch of a Tractor in Bavarian Landscape
>>
>>I am a Munich street artist
>>spawned by our great father
>>the father of all street artists.
>>I paint from postcards
>>scenes of the Dom,
>>little sketches of the dancer
>>Lola Montez and portraits
>>of Cosima and Richard Wagner.
>>
>>I am a Munich street artist
>>I look at his terrible flowers everyday.
>>at Odeonsplatz I throw
>>my coat on the ground
>>at the space he fell
>>I can't see the spaces history
>>falls into, but I can see
>>his face, the terrible flowers
>>
>>that rise up out of the cracks
>>in the pavement, that fell
>>where he fell, terrible
>>flowers that yawn and devour
>>men. in the Haus der Kunst
>>a waving woman
>>on the landscape
>>a tractor is thrumming
>>
>>I am painting the tractor
>>the terrible flowers
>>the waving woman
>>the dancer Lola Montez
>>Richard and Cosima.
>>Nietzsche is dying
>>Achilles is born.
>>Mars and Venus masturbate
>>
>>the flower stems
>>the terrible tractor
>>the waving flowers
>>the thrumming woman
>>the thrumming waving woman
>>the stems of the tractor
>>tyre metal steel plastic leaf oil
>>observe the terrible thrumming woman
>>
>>so that the tractor is born.
>>
>
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