----- Original Message -----
From: "Barbara Ostrander" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, October 28, 2003 5:03 AM
Subject: Re: Kathmandu- Grassy, Arthur, etc


> Grassy and Arthur,
>
> You said to go look at Arthur's poem called Genesis, so I did.  Since I
don't
> know anything about Japanese Haibun form, I'm not sure how to use it with
> this Kathmandu piece.  Arthur, maybe you could pass on what you know?

If you really want to know about haibun take a look at some of the links on
my haiku links page
http://www.nhi.clara.net/hklinks.htm
especially
Everyday Accounts

Haibun is a mixture of prose and poetry but in the haiku genre
and probably is not appropriate for your Kathmandu pieces.
I wouldn't advice trying to write haibun
until you've read a good many examples and got a feel for the genre.



> Gerald, I'd like to know what you think, now that you've had some time to
> think about this.  I just found myself wanting almost to keep the
simplicity of
> "notes" as I was putting this together.  I wanted the sense of first
> impressions, gutted out, not polished, etc.  But what are you thinking?

I did print it out
but just now I can't seem to put my hand on it -- it may still be buried
under other papers. -- no I've just found it.

My wife has a hospital appointment tomorrow so I'll take it with me then --
hospital waiting rooms are usually good places to read such things -- and I
will try and get back to you with some comments.

I didn't comment earlier as other correspondents mainly said what I
originally thought -- that these were notes towards a poem rather than a
poem itself.

I think you would be best off working them up as a series of different poems
and perhaps later assembling them as a sequence or discreet collection.

I will get back to you again later

yours
Gerald