Hi,
Thanks for the comments about this one! I sort of felt it wasn't yet working
well enough and you've given me lotza food for thought.
I keep not getting the grammer right and not noticing - until I suddenly saw
my machine change something in front of my very eyes (and not put it right -
but make it wrong! A brief sort through all the little windows Word has, and
clicking/unclicking boxes, may have solved it. But I'm thinking it's the way
that one bit of Word must be linked to another is why it won't stay as I
want it all the time! Humph!). But I should read it through more carefully
before I send it out as well!
Too short! says Sally, & Christina wonders of it's too long or too short.
H'm... I guess I was sort of thinking of the piece as a sort of
snap-shot/polaroid poem: one image being enough. I'm playing with
longer/shorter versions.
Also Sue suggests employing "You" a bit more. That's interesting, too! I
mean I'm seeing one person in my mind - and I don't mind if who I see
becomes exactly who you see - so I maybe can offer a more clear focus.
My thanks,
Bob
>From: Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: The Chest Freezer
>Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2003 11:01:40 +0000
>
>Things seem really quiet right now... (and I think I'd prefer this one to
>appear among a host of others!).
>But here it is for some C & C:
>
>The Chest Freezer
>
>Sat on the lid, feeling the warmth at your back,
>sobbing like only a seventeen-year-old can sob,
>not saying anything out loud, not hearing the hum
>from behind the trembling chickens, lamb’s hearts,
>sausages, livers, profiteroles - and the Haagen Daas
>which is all the comfort food a body needs
>when sat on the freezer, feeling the warmth.
>
>Bob Cooper
>
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