Hi Arthur,
A real cracker of a poem!
The style fits the subject (ah, those Shakespearean pace-across-the-stage
pentameters!) and I caught a flavour of the actor's interpretation as well
(- "I watched him uncrowned, white gowned, crucified;" gives me a really
vivid picture of what could be seen!)
I found, tho, "a brilliant candle that illumed my guilt;" felt a tad too
Shakesperean - with "illumned" being the culprit word. Any chance of a more
contemporary word? Strange to say I don't find the word "thrall" so much of
a problem - but it's not as contemporary as "enthralled"! - but I'd class it
as a written word more than a spoken word... and this poem seems to want to
be read aloud!
I'm also wondering if the first couplet is a full sentence... I'd be tempted
to mess around with the 2nd line a little.
It's a fine poem, must have been a fine night out...
Bob




>From: Arthur Seeley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Pascoe at the RSC: Richard II
>Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 16:53:58 +0100
>
>Pascoe at the RSC: Richard II
>
>
>His golden arms, held wide, embraced us all
>the words, from text, were "..all of you," I knew.
>Those melting eyes found mine, held me in thrall
>and, ten rows back, I heard the words 'Just you'.
>Strangely unsure of what I thought or felt
>I watched him uncrowned, white gowned, crucified;
>a brilliant candle that illumed my guilt;
>a guttering flame that  flared and died.
>
>I burned with shame, made suddenly aware
>that this was something more than just the play,
>that I had filled my role, I'd done my share
>and turned my hand to regicide that day.
>I, like any other foul-mouthed groundling,
>had dared to rise and kill the sun-bright king..
>

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