Hi Sue,
I'm not so keen on the first stanza - wine and roses seem sort of weary
images, used too many times already - but I'm caught by the second part!
How about just having the 2nd stanza? Enigmatic, but powerful - saying
altogether enough IMO. (Then another type of title may be needed, too).
Bob
>From: Sue Scalf <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New: If I could choose
>Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 07:44:50 EDT
>
>If I could choose
>
>
>there would be no good-byes,
>no false promises
>of a season softened by roses,
>air turned to wine.
>
>Though wrapped in woodsmoke
>and gold, burnished with bronze,
>autumn is exterior
>to the farewell inside.
>
>Sue Scalf
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