> Back again,
             I´ve just read Christina´s comment on this piece and realised that in focusing on your use of cliché I hadn´t mentioned the effect you produce. I think Christina expresses it very well, `contained bewilderment´ sums it up perfectly. I notice Christina also commends the use of room-cabin etc. Her point is a good one and I hadn´t thought of it myself. I´m undecided quite whether it works as a switch between reality and fantasy, but that´s your decision, of course.


Best wishes,    Mike


> From: "Merritt, Matt - Leic. Mercury"              <[log in to unmask]>
> Date: 2003/10/20 Mon PM 07:49:19 EEST
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: New sub: Man Overboard
> 
> I've been reading the submissions for a couple of months now and have been
> both impressed and a little daunted by their high quality, but always
> entertained.
> 
> Anyway, I thought it was high time I posted something myself, however
> scrappy, so here goes....
> 
> Please be gentle with me!
> 
> 
> 
> MAN OVERBOARD
> 
> Shoulder our way into his cabin...room.
> There's Robinson Crusoe by the bed,
> unread, and the shipping forecast drifting
> through the porthole...window. We steal a look
> in the log, fishing for clues. There are storm
> clouds, true, but worse things happen at sea, and
> nobody expects plain sailing. Not me,
> anyway. All day, we chart courses he
> might have taken, and someone remembers
> waking, night after night, seeing the flares
> go up. Not enough. I stick my oar in,
> but it's too late. No one can fathom what's
> happened. We're fog-bound, becalmed, run aground.
> Anyone know how to turn this boat around?
> 
> 
> 
> - Matt Merritt
> 
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>