Hi Christina,
Here's another comment that I don't think got to the Works. If it's already
appeared, I'm sorry to re-post it. It's just me and my machine and my server
and JISC (and whoever and whatever else is between me and
what appears on my screen) that's been blowsy or drowsy or tiddly or
otherwise too full of everything else to get round to posting it.
(It's probobly me that's at fault)
Bob
Hi Christina,
I love the abruptness I hear in this poem! It's tone seems so un-mannered,
so abrupt. Sort of: "Now be telled!" Great!!!
As an utterly minor comment I was once told not to include brackets in my
poems (so I did in my next one as well, just the show how unmannered I could
be!!!) but, when I'd quietened down, I don't think I've done it since (and
I've looked at a fair few recently written and published poems to see if the
comment was true!). I guess, here - if you want to acceed to similar advice
- you could replace them with dashes...
And in the line:
(knives) are no longer weapons but your napkin
(is not a missile...)
I may consider replacing the word "but" with a comma...
Bob
>From: Christina Fletcher <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Manners
>Date: Wed, 18 Dec 2002 12:06:55 EST
>
>Last one for a while (I promise).
>bw
>christina
>
>
> Manners
>
> Now you will learn the art of mastication.
> Place this meat in your teeth and chew -
> up down, up down - that's the way.
> Close your mouth: it is impolite
> and oh, so vulgar to display ones molars.
> You may neither spit nor spray your food
> at (or over) your guests. Spoons
> are never played. Knives
> are no longer weapons but your napkin
> is not a missile. Never shout,
> drool, sniffle or belch at table.
> It is absolutely forbidden to fart.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> christina fletcher
>
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