> Hello David,
An interesting sonnet and well constructed. Here are just a few suggestions that occurred to me, but bin them if I´ve misunderstood your aim:
In line 3 change `pointed towards´ thus: `one giant leap´ / directed at the stars
In line 10 I would question the word `bond´. It suits `land´ but not `space´.
In line 14 change `giants´ thus: where once our heroes trod
I hope this is useful.
Best wishes, Mike
> Lähettäjä: David Anthony <[log in to unmask]>
> Päiväys: 2003/10/07 ti PM 02:37:22 GMT+03:00
> Vastaanottaja: [log in to unmask]
> Aihe: Concorde
>
> Concorde
> March 1969-October 2003
> —first and last supersonic airliner
>
> She dated from the heady era when
> we landed on the moon—“one giant leap”
> pointed towards the stars. Though we may keep
> our dreams, I fear we won’t go there again.
> I used to pause when Concorde travelled by,
> awed by her beauty: more than just a plane,
> an aspiration soaring to reclaim
> the wonder of man’s ancient urge to fly.
> Now she’s gone as well. Humanity
> set out to challenge every bond of land
> and space. We falter now…I understand
> the world is tired and growing old like me,
> and vision bows to caution as we plod
> in slow retreat where once our giants trod.
>
> http://www.davidgwilymanthony.co.uk/
>
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